Four Different Heroes United By One Cummon te’hing

Ideas of a subconcious nature

January 3, 2010

I sit here knowing it’s been a while since I’ve last wondered, perhaps pondered about anything aside from my own activities and perpetual happiness in the recent weeks. Fact is i’ve been too busy making up for lost time, making up for things i’ve never done and things i’ve never said. In some ways my words have been meant for someone rather then everyone.

So i guess it’s a welcome relief that i sit here with a tired body, limp lower regions and an unassuming  soul just thinking. Thinking, writing and putting some serif to html with regards to the context of my inconsistently active mind.

I’ve learnt more about myself from the recap’s of stories about my life in the recent conversations i’ve had and that i guess, was my own personal form of fulfilment in knowing that i have made progress in moving on from all that has happened in the past, that in some essence i am so much more fortunate on a comparative scale and that my derivation of happiness from the similar ecstatic pleasure of others is something i yearn to achieve.

I can’t begin 2010(do we call it 0-10 ” OH TEN” ?)without resolving any remaining issues with ‘09 that has lingered, and it’s safe to say i leave it behind with many new experiences that i will never forget in time to come. ‘09 can be summed up in the ” Fuck it, do it “, which basically was my idea that nothing would ever happen if i just sat on my ass and wait for fate to be tried and tempted, that i could take a deep dark breath and put the lingering problem behind me and that every chance was probably an opportunity i could never pass up. I’m particularly glad that the last issue has probably given me the best thing that ‘09 has given, and that’s a new lease, outtake and perception of life and love’s sweeter allure.

In the end, the failures of my prospects and ambitions gave me an idea as to what i really want in life, or as I’ve said time and again,” what i do not want in life “.

I’m happy in a way that i am still looking to find exactly what i’m searching for, who i am and who i want to be, because it only goes to show how much more i have to learn from her, from life and from the people around me.

I welcome ‘10 not with total jubilation, but just the comfort in knowing that i’m at least starting it on the right foot that i do not have to bother about the basic consequence of necessity and that i have the time and purpose to achieve more in the 363 days that remain.

Entry Filed under: Soap Fat. .