Posts Tagged Guts
Heart and Gut
A couple of hours ago i was at a wake for my buddy’s grandad, whom he was very close to as he had stayed with him ever since he was young.
Somehow it reminded me of my grandma, whom was the only grandparent that i have ever really been close to, as she, like my friend’s grandad, stayed beside me ever since i was young.
I miss the lard and salt intensive dishes that she used to cook, and though most of the time i know she didn’t really understand what i was saying due to my limited chinese vocabulary, i always felt safe and secure around her warm and pudgy body. sorry mama.
My buddy told me how he was there during the last few minutes that his grandad was still alive, and i think its never easy for anyone whatever situation you are in.To actually see them pass onto the afterlife.
He also mentioned that he had intended to head to a friend’s party earlier, but just had something hitting his heart, his gut, telling him to visit his grandad, even if it was for a while. Which was what he did. And even after he finished talking to him, he went back to wave and said bye to his grandad twice just before he reached the lift lobby. Somehow he knew he just had to.
An hour or so later, he got a call that his grandad was in critical state and soon after he passed but not before having everyone say their final goodbyes.
Mine wasn’t the same scenario as i was much younger. My Grandma had been in and out of the hospital recently, but on the day she passed i duly remember having a sinking feeling that something is wrong, i didn’t know what but somehow its just natural to know that something went wrong.
So i trudged back in the bookloads, and as i climbed up the stairs to my home, the sheer number of slippers, the open gate made me pause for a while.
I knew that she had gone.
At this point i guess sadness hits you first, and then somehow i felt more relief in knowing that her suffering had ended and she was in a better place, a woman like her will defnitely have a VIP pass to heaven.
Somehow i felt relieved and happy that at least she was trying to send me a message from beyond just as she passed.
It’s strange, endearing and amazing how these kind of things happen to us, that spiritual link that we somehow share with people we are close to and how you sometimes have to believe that they have one final message for you.
So i guess in someway, its better to forget logic, to screw common sense, facts and figures.
Sometimes we just have to follow what our heart tells us. What the gut feels.
but it’s not so bad, you’re only the best i ever had
-Soapfat
2 comments March 3, 2009
