Four Different Heroes United By One Cummon te’hing

Relation between my weight and my work

I think everyone i’ve known has had to bear the brunt of me proclaiming that i am fat, while others seek the opportunity to mock me because of it, and its fine because i appreciate humour in the form of facts.

Sometimes i really wonder though just why i lament on it. Aside from the mockery, i think my issues were that when i was fit, i felt fresh, i felt accomplished, basically good and positive about myself. Also it probably was at the point of my life when i felt that everything i did was a new experience, a different adventure and that success from tangible results were actually availably viable.

So perhaps its with little wonder that in the current rut of a supposed career i’m stuck in, do i see my weight as an issue to tackle. I’ve never believe in dieting to an extreme, but eating in supposed moderation so as to not grow to a Jabba the Hut proportion. It’s been tough cutting back on the beer, not because i;m an alcoholic(rather far from it), but it sometimes is really just a psychological form of relaxation that puts anything that you ever worried about, just tucked away for a while.

I do not really worry what i write here because i have only 5 page views on a daily basis, so i’ll say it without any pretence.

I only came into the job because i felt it was reasonable enough to experience, the pay was good and it gave me the freedom to appreciate studies, life and everything else in between. But living in a world where success is a measure of well, success, Its hard to keep oneself motivated to move on when there really is nothing to head towards in the first place.

An incident of a total lack of respect as a human being last week left my fuming internally, and just confirmed my points and views of the limitations and intangibility of what we know as a ministry. Even now i still seethe at what happened, to be treated as just another pawn on the chessboard, an excess material that is up on a 90% sale.

Yet for all that has happened,i still feel concerned about my studies in this paper-dependent universe, that i may have to give up the freedom and excitement that i have in my current relationship.

At some point i will have to outweigh whichever works out for the better.

I thought i could subject myself to the layman’s way of a life, that i could see work-life balance as something to cherish. But if life were really that simple, i wouldn’t even have a thought to deliberate about.

how do you have motivation in a place thats void of it

I pity myself for overexamplifying the context of what i do because basically i think its pathetic.

To my solace, i vow to mildly-actively look for something else to really succeed and further myself in whilst containing myself in the cubicle overlooking the streams of tourist and unmotivated workers alike.

I just don’t want to be suckered in and mocked just because of irrelevant qualifications.

I haven’t said these words in a long time and i know that i have only myself to dig myself out of this, i know i’ve done it before and i can do it again, but sometimes one really just needs a little luck, a little saviour.

Save me.

Add comment March 11, 2010